On a gorgeous September 27th day, before a small group of almost 70 friends and family, on a roof-top garden in New York City, we stood and got married. Now (and this is important), according to federal law and the law in the state of NY, I am married. I didn’t have a commitment ceremony or any other type of “pseudo” marriage. I got married in every sense of the act. We got married in NYC because it is my home town and it is the city my husband adopted as his “second” home. Despite its good and bad…NYC is ours…and so it was important to us to have a marriage license from that state!
Today we live in Chicago, IL, another state that fully recognizes our marriage. However, I come across some strange oddities that leave me wondering whether state offices, schools, private businesses etc. are ignorant of the laws in their state or are just plain stupid.
You are free to picture me climbing on my soap box (LDT: it’s winter so I am probably wearing my Gucci boots) saying “People, if you are going to recognize same sex marriage in your state then please, everybody, update all your forms to reflect this.” It doesn’t matter if you are a school, the doctors office, a state office, a federal office, or a private business, please, please update all those damn forms!
There, I’ve said it. It might hurt or offend but it needed to be said.
It is frustrating that most of the paperwork/forms we need to complete haven’t yet been updated to reflect some sort of gender neutral categorizations. For example, Chicago Public Schools, I know that everyone has a mother and a father but not all children who live in a two parent household have a mother and a father…therefore fix the damn forms to reflect the many variations of family please! This is a public school district (one of the largest in the country)…and you still haven’t made the adjustment?
Is it too hard to ask that the forms for enrolling your kids in sports be updated to reflect which parent(s) should be contacted in case of an emergency instead of asking for the name of the mother and father? I mean what if the child didn’t live with both parents or what if the child’s parent didn’t want to be contacted. Stop making assumptions people!
Oh and the worse one yet: our remodeling company, Normandy Remodeling here in the metro-Chicago area. For the past 5 months Normandy has been helping us redesign our home and, to date, I have yet to see a form/document from them that has our names on it correctly. Most recently, an official document had me listed as “Ms.” and upon seeing it, I just threw the paperwork back across the desk at our architect.
Am I frustrated, annoyed, or disappointed…I really don’t know. In the beginning, it was cute or funny. We’d laugh to one another asking “which do you wanna be this time?”
Lately, I am just weary of it all.